You pin it to your fucking heart like the rest of us

I emailed Billy at 5:30 tonight. It's now 9:12 and I haven't heard from him. He had lunch at 8. Grr. It's really not hard to check your phone. Why have a cell phone if you don't use it?

This weekend Hunter needs to pick out a Halloween costume. He hasn't decided on his yet. He wanted to be a clown at first. Then Woody from Toy Story and a few other things. Hopefully we can find something this close to Halloween. We bought Ryder's in September. He's going to be Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. I tried persuading Hunter to be DJ Lance Rock. He wouldn't do it.

I really can't wait till I see pomegranates in stores. It should be really soon. I hate that they aren't available all year round :(


What I'm listening to: For the Travelers by Nora

Layout change

I decided to change my layout. Old pictures are messing it up a bit though :( I don't feel like going back and resizing them at this point.

I'm going to eat some left over Chinese food!

Crazy

A few years ago when we lived in St. Louis one of our vehicles needed new breaks and rotors. The total for parts and labor was a little over $1,000.

We went out over the weekend. I was driving. I pulled into a parking spot at a Chinese restaurant and my breaks squealed. Billy got out to look at my wheels. He said that he noticed some metal off the rotors. I don't know lol.

I waited for the weekly local classified newspaper to come today, so I could look at car repair ads. Billy called one of the places today. They said worst case scenario it would cost $180. I've been worried about prices for days now since I found out I would need breaks at least. I'm so relieved! I thought we would be out $1,000!

Gonna start posting again

Things are finally starting to settle down since summer is gone. Now it's time to stay home and relax. Trying to stay home as much as possible to avoid all the sick people.

We recently switched almost all of our services over to new companies. We're trying to save as much as possible with the new little one (due in April). We switched Direct TV over to Charter. Verizon internet to Charter. Verizon phone services to T-mobile. With us just switching our cell phone bill, our TV, internet, and new cell phone plan is cheaper than our Blackerry plan with Verizon. We paid nearly $200 a month for our cell phones. That's not including TV and internet. So for cell, internet, & TV is roughly $200 now! I miss my Blackberry, but my new phone is almost as cool. I still get my emails sent to my phone. I got a facebook app. No twitter though :( Maybe I can find a 3rd party app soon. I haven't searched for one really.

What's cool with switching those services we have about $200 in visa gift cards on the way!

So I'm 13ish weeks pregnant. I'm switching OBs. I'm not happy. My OB pretty much has talked down on me. She was fairly nice when I got my pap smear and birth control. Things changed when I got pregnant. I'm not having someone who talks to me like I'm a child be my caretaker. I'm not going continue to go there and pay my insurance for a rude doctor. Plus I've had appointments canceled with no calls. I have to get up early in the mornings to find out that she's been in delivery for about 2 hours. Wouldn't that 2 hours been enough time to call me? Even with canceled appointments I was able to get an ultrasound.



I really wish we didn't live so far away from my old OB in St. Louis

I'll update a little more later. There are some things I need to get done now.

Be yourself and you'll be cool

This weekend we are going to look at a house in Southern Illinois to possibly buy. This is nearly two hours away from where we are currently living. So I decided to tell my mom the good news [or so I thought] She was extremely upset. She said that she didn't want us to move. We currently live an hour away from her and we don't go see her but once a month. Maybe 2 if there is something special going on up her way. She made it out like she isn't going to get to see the boys that much. She wouldn't see them any less than what she sees them now.

She gets upset when I tell her certain things. Like if we are going on vacation or doing something fun. She'll say, "Why don't you ask your dad if he wants to go." My dad usually says no. He doesn't want to go because he's disabled. He can't walk for long distances and he's too stubborn to get a wheel chair. She won't go without him. So then she tries to give us negative comments about what we are doing to get us to change our minds. I'm leaning that she's jealous that we get to do things and she doesn't. With the house situation I think she's upset because we are in a better position than what her and my dad was when they were my age...or even right now.

She's making me feel really guilty about moving. I can't let her bring me down about it. I talked to her again today about it and she said 'well you know how I feel about you moving" Every time we have went and looked at houses to matter where she brings on the negative comments. I really think that she doesn't want us to buy a house. I think that if we moved to Southern Illinois and we rented a house she'd be fine. That's not the case. She was ok when we moved to St. Louis and she was ok when we moved to where we are at now...because we're renting.

My dad and her didn't buy their first house until I was in the 4th grade. The only reason was because my dad got a settlement from a major accident at his work {which is why he's disabled}.

My dad couldn't be happier for us. He wants to go with us to see the house. I would love for him to go but my mom will have to come. I know she'll ask a million questions to find the flaws. I'm going to have to sadly tell my dad I don't think they should come. I know he'll understand and will probably be just as happy if I email him pictures.

Anyways I can't wait to see the house!

What I'm listening: Something by Wow Wow Wubzzy....Why is this still on when my kids are sleeping?!

they can only twist your arm so much.

I haven't been posting much. Mainly, because Ryder has become a little terror. Seriously. This is a whole new ballgame for me. Hunter was/is a laid back kid. Ryder definitely not. I guess I'm going to order the Dr. Sears book on disciplining. That way I'll have a head start lol. I had a bad feeling that he was going to be a handful around 8 months or so. Hunter loved playing in Ryder's crib with him at the time. Hunter would be sitting there good playing with a toy attached to the crib. Out of no where Ryder would lean over and tackle him.
I barely have time to get on the computer these days. Most of my online time is spent on my Blackberry.
We've also been enjoying the nice weather. Saturday we spent most of the day at Rockford Beach with my friends Krystal, Kelly, & their girls. Also Amanda and her girls. It was fun. Hunter was scared to go swimming. He spent most of the time playing in the sand. Ryder loved being out in the water. It was a lot of fun.
Krystal and Kelly invited Billy and I to some hippy festival at the end of July. We may go. It's for two days and you camp out in a field just listening to music the entire time. Sounds like fun. I'm kinda afraid of what happens at a event like that. What I'm looking forward to (if we go) is the stuff they will be selling. I've been wanting a really cool hemp necklace. I guess that'll be a good place to buy one.
So Billy and I have been doing the whole "Not trying but not avoiding" thing. Well that's coming to a stop tomorrow. For the reason of Ryder being a handful. I can't handle another kid right now. So I have an appointment to get birth control. So it's up in the air when we'll have our third kid.

What I'm listening to: Kill Roger Hedgecock by The Locust

Happy Birthday Hunter!

Today Hunter is 4 years old! Happy Birthday little buddy!

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea

So Billy has an interview in St. Louis tomorrow at 10 am for that job. He doesn't know any details what so ever. Pay & hours mainly...

He's got a good chance at the position because he has experience with the job he's applying for. Which no one would have if anyone in STL applied for the job. Anyways, if he gets the job he'll be driving 80 miles one way. I feel like it's too much but it'll possibly worth it with the salary increase. Even though we don't know what the pay is yet it will be more than what he makes now.

Here are some factors...

PROS
A pay increase. If he would have this position where we live right now he'd make 20k more but with it being St. Louis it may be more. For whatever reason if it's less than what we expect we really need to look at if it's worth it or not.

We get to move back to STL...in time, not right away.I'll explain in a bit.

Even though there are only two, they are major ones in my book. There are some minor pros though.

CONS
He'll have to pay for insurance if he gets & takes the job. Which is $200+ a month.

We'll have to get a new car. None of our cars has great gas mileage. One is on it's last leg, but that's because it was my high school car lol.

Gas for the 160 miles plus the routine maintenance (and wear and tear on the new car).

I need to add in my shopping addiction may return once I move back to STL so I need to be here with these 'plain jane' people a bit longer to keep me level headed . I feel like I need to set myself to a different standard when I'm there. I don't know why. I'm sure it sounds crazy to you, but I feel that I have to maintain a certain image. I mean I like that image but I used to spend way too much money on it. Here I only have a JCPenny to shop at so it's really helped me.

Anyways I'm super excited about getting to possibly move back to STL but still not at the same time. I hate this town I live in now but I love our condo and the quietness. I also hate moving. We've done it so freaking much. I figured up that we have moved 7 times since Billy and I have been married! We'll be married 5 years in June!

We are in a year lease here (it ends in December), so he's going to have to drive for at least 6 months. We may have to stay here for another 6 months after our lease ends. I'd really like to pay off my PT Cruiser before we move, so that could keep us here the extra 6 months. I'd like to pay off our credit card debt to zero. Rent is a lot higher in STL and I don't want to go back with the little debt we have. When we move this time I have to be really picky about finding the right school district, since Hunter will be going next fall. St. Louis has a lot of great schools and a lot of horrible ones.

What I'm listening to: No music. I'm watching Family Guy

Hunter's birthday

I'm sure this will be edited once I get more ideas. I hope they come to me fast!

I need to finish up Hunter's birthday shopping soon. It's coming up around the corner. He's really hard to shop for this year. He has pretty much everything he wants.

I've been thinking:

Some sort of power wheel....I'm not sure because he has a 4-wheeler that he barely plays with
Sonic the Hedgehog toys...He recently became obsessed with him after I rented a dvd from redbox
A few hot wheel playsets
A water/sand table

Other than those, I'm clueless. I'm sure I won't be once I take a trip around Toys R Us.

She cured the plague of the holy child

I'm going to try to make of over a week without blogging as short as possible.

The 8th Billy took a personal day. It turned out to be pretty much for no reason. I wanted to go to the Walls of Jericho & Earth Crisis concert. Thursday (the day before STL!) the bass players daughter broke her arm. So they pulled off the tour for a bit. We didn't want to make a waste of Billy calling off so we decided to still do something. So we took the boys to my parents. I was considering on going to a casino. At the last minute...seriously the last minute I got off on the exit for downtown, instead of going to Illinois. I am regretfully posting that Earth Crisis let me down. I wish I didn't go. They were one of the first hardcore bands I listened to. I should have stuck to listening to them on a CD. I did really really like Reign Supreme.

So we all ended up getting horrible head colds on Billy's vacation. We didn't do too much even though we had a lot of plans. It also stormed so freakin' much. Tornado sirens were going on left and right at the beginning of the week.

Monday we went to my friend Krystal's house (And her husband Kelly) while my mom watched the boys. We have been friends since like 1994. It's kinda weird to say that I've been friends with her for like 15 years. Geez. I feel old. I hate that she moved to Desoto pretty much when we moved to Farmington. We used to live in DEsoto and they lived in F-town previously.

Wednesday Ryder turned 1! I made him his cakes. I've never made a birthday cake before. I decided to give it a whirl since no one makes YO Gabba Gabba cakes. We spent the day at home, because of the storms. There was a clearing from a storm for like an hour so we went outside and ate cake and ice cream. It was a pretty pleasant day despite the rain.

Thursday we took the boys to The Magic House. They both loved it. They had a baby area for Ryder. On the way home Krystal asked us to go to the bar with her and Kelly. We decided to go. My mom watched the boys for us. We rode with them. I wasn't in the mood to drink at all. I had like 2 beers and 1 Smirnoff. An old friend of mine showed up there. It was nice seeing her. I had my mom come pick us up. We spent the night at her house. When I woke up I realized that I had left my camera in Krystal's car. Billy drove to their house to get it. It was still early and he didn't want to wake them up. He reached in through their window to unlock the door and as soon as he opened it the alarm went off lol. Kelly came running out of the house in his underwear to see what was going on.

Friday and Saturday we took the time to clean our house.

Billy has finally caught on that me taking my time clipping coupons and printing coupons online is paying off. We got $130 worth of groceries for $80 on Sunday. That was between 3 different places though. I had to get my produce at Aldi's because it's so much cheaper.

I'm going to make a separate post to post pictures from last week.

What I'm listening to: Her Middle Name was Boom by GLassjaw

Give me a break about some other mess

We celebrated Cinco de Mayo before Billy left for work. No Mexican restaurants were crowded here. I don't know if they don't do it big where I live now or the time of day. Although the time of day in STL wouldn't have mattered. They are usually busy all day long 5/5. Anyways, I wanted to give a new restaurant a try, and wow. I'm glad I did. They had a great vegetarian selection. Although I didn't explore any other options outside of my regular bean burrito and cheese enchilada. That way I would know if they were good or not. I've had plenty of those in my days.

Here is Billy and the boys today. Not that either of the boys are paying attention.


When we got home we took the boys outside to play for a bit.




Billy called me from work and informed me that he was offered a position at the St. Louis plant. He'd be making about $500 more a week, but I don't know if it's a good choice. He'd be on the bottom with seniority plus the drive is loooong. He's so close to having his boss's job when he retires (which is suppose to be December). It's such a big decision. I think he wants to take it. I really wish that this was offered to him before we moved here 5 months ago. I know eventually we'd move again. I don't like the town we live in, but I'm not ready to move yet. I hate moving so much. I just want to settle down somewhere. I don't care if it's here even though I don't like it all that much. I haven't given it a chance at all. Ever since we've been married we've moved 7 times and we'll be married for 5 years in June. Eck.

I felt the need to be a dork awhile ago. I found Billy's glasses in the bathroom and decided to take a picture. LOL.


What I'm listening to: Back to School by the Deftones.

I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle

Billy called me. He was pretty mad. His job told him that he is now back on nights. The night crew is getting out to late without him there. Maybe picking up their pace should have been the solution. 2 out of the 3 workers on nights are slow. The night boss probably got his way because he complained too much that he needed Billy. Everyone in the warehouse is too dependent on him. It's kinda crappy when he's a good worker, and he can't get a break because of it. You're always told something along the lines of, "Do good and you'll excel." Not at Pepsi. It's more like "Do good and you'll go nowhere...because that's where we need you to make OUR (management) lives more simple."
I feel bad that he can't catch a break there. At least he's treated well. He just can't seem to get out of working nights...or get out of the warehouse. I think it sucks, but I was trying to get him to see the brighter end of this. At least he'll have great checks again. With him working days, we had to cut back on a lot. I was finding lots of ways to cut costs, something that we weren't used to. We didn't complain, because he was home a little more. At least during that time we got used to being more frugal and I learned a valuable thing. We'll be able to save more money, now that we know how to manage it better. Things happen for a reason, maybe that was reason? We were wasteful. Seriously. We threw money away left and right.

Ryder has been on the go for the last 3 weeks. He's walking all over the place. He gets into everything. We found out that Ryder + Thai food = horrible smelly diapers.

Hunter has been so good lately.

Hunter is taking a nap and Ryder is waiting for him to get up. lol. I thought it'd make for a cute picture.




What I'm listening to: ...But Home is Nowhere by AFI

We tore down the walls I built around myself

I haven't posted too much. The weather was really nice for a long time. Today is a typical rainy April day here.

We took the boys to two different parks over the weekend, since the weather was awesome.





For this week I'm trying to do meal planning. We are horrible at eating out...mainly because I'm a pretty horrible cook. We are going to try to not eat out this week. Hopefully we can stick to it.

I know I have been planning Ryder's 1st birthday, but it doesn't seem real. I mean I can't believe that he's almost a year old!




What I'm listening to: Lifeline by Papa Roach

Maybe I could make sense of this

It's been a little bit since I updated. Mainly because I was sick. It seems like I was sick forever. Ryder got it first, thanks to the in laws coming to visit while they were sick. Hunter and Billy never really got anything besides a runny nose.

After we got better we were busy catching up on things. Friday the boys and I spent the night at my parents. Saturday morning we took them to an Easter egg hunt. Then we celebrated Easter at their house on Saturday. Billy came up around 1pm. He had to work the night before and was too tired to make the hour drive. Sunday the boys got their baskets and Hunter found some eggs outside. We then went to eat at a buffet that was open. I didn't want to cook. It was surprisingly crowded.

I'm pretty sure I'm done with Ryder's birthday. His couch and chair came in. I picked up a few more things on Saturday while my mom and I were shopping.






Here is Camille's grave we decorated up for Easter.


What I'm listening to: Misery Dance by Martyr A.D.

Look so good like a box of fresh twinkies

Yesterday, Ryder was sick. Thanks to Billy's family. They came here over the weekend and they were all sick. Who does that? There was never a mention that they were sick. There is a baby in their house, so they should know better. He was running a fever between 101-103.3. He's never been sick before, so I felt horrible. Hunter never ran a fever like that before. His highest probably was 100. I ended up calling the ER here to see if I should bring him in. They said that they couldn't give out information over the phone and they gave me the Childrens hospital phone number. Billy called them. After about 10 minutes worth of questions they said that unless it reaches 105, he'll be ok.

Here is my little guy yesterday.



I decided to get the portable dvd player out and put it next to him to see if he wanted to watch Yo Gabba Gabba. He sat up for a little bit to watch it.



Today he is much better. He still has a slight fever, but he's more active today. Sadly, Hunter is sick now. He's taking a nap in my bed with a box of Kleenexes near him :(

What I'm listening to: Perfect People by Pennywise

I stood atop this world alone without a scratch

This is a really annoying (possibly funny) subject where I don't know what to do. Hunter won't stop wearing Ryder's clothes. Ryder wears 12-18 months. Hunter wears a 4T shirt and 3T pants. He's trying to wear Ryder's clothes around the house for the last 3 weeks or so. Since he's so skinny he can get Ryder's clothes on, but they are short. The shirts end up being belly shirts and the pants are capri length. When we go out I make Hunter put on his own clothes. He starts crying and tells me that they are too big. He now thinks that a shirt that lets his stomach hang out is the right size. I don't wear shirts like that, so I'm not influencing him.
Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. I had to take Ryder's clothes of Hunter and put his own clothes on. He cried for at least 10 minutes. I don't know what to do. I've let him go shopping and buy whatever clothes that he likes. In hope that because he picked it out, he'd wear it. Nope.

I guess I'm going to have to install the child safety things on Ryder's dresser. I don't know what to do about his closet though.

What I'm listening to: Skunx by Lars Frederiksen & the Bastards

The fairy tale slowly fades to black

Ryder is going to be the proud owner of these! I found an auction on ebay where someone was auctioning them both of with free shipping. Awesome score! His Toys R Us gifts came in today. They are all already hidden in my closet. Obviously, I'm not worried about Ryder finding them. I'm worried about Hunter. He doesn't normally go in there.




My mother in law is coming here this weekend. Which means I have to take precautions with hiding my things. One of his sister may take something. It's happened before. It's a pain in the butt having to worry if someone is going to steal while they are here. Maybe she won't come? She's been willingly living in a car with her boyfriend. Even though MIL says she can stay there. The worst part of the situation is that she has a 6 month old daughter. She doesn't take care of her. Her daughter stays with MIL. Kinda cool considering she tried her hardest to get pregnant.

I have to go now. Ryder is done jumping in his horse.

What I'm listening to: Collusionist by Most Precious Blood

The salt from my eyes burn

This morning I had to go grocery shopping. I really liked the store. I got organic ketchup for $1.83. I usually pay $3.89 at an all natural store. :thumbs up to that: Fruit is cheaper there than Walmart, besides bananas. It's a 11 cents difference. Oh well. I dislike Walmart a lot and would rather not go there. I'm happy now that I have no reason to go there at all.

Today has been kinda a kick back day. It was nice and relaxing.

Ryder usually makes a big fuss when I look into his mouth to check out his teeth. Not today! He has two more coming in on both sides of his top front teeth. This will make 6 total once they are in. No wonder he's been biting me a lot more lately. I should have figured.

Billy was asked to come in early for the rest of the week. 2 hours before his normal shift starts. He went in early yesterday, but he told Tom that he wouldn't be able make it at the time they wanted. We really needed to get things done around the house and they couldn't do anything about it since they didn't give him a huge notice. Sometimes him being in a union is a huge lifesaver. About 30 minutes before Billy had to leave for work, Tom calls him. Telling him that 'we have a problem, you can't say that you're not going to be in when we tell you. You are going to get an occurrence." An occurrence is Pepsi's tardy system. Billy was mad and he called the head union guy on the way to work. They had a meeting with John. The main guy who runs Pepsi here. John took away the occurrence that Tom gave him. They finally sorted out some problems that has been going on with what time they want Billy to come in. I'm so glad that Billy finally stood up for himself and everything got fixed. He decided not to get take the bid on the driving job. John did say that if he wants Billy to get his CDL soon and he will still pay for it.

I'm done now. My kitty came out of my room. She's very antisocial. She must finally willingly want attention.

What I'm listen to: Whether to Cry or Destroy by Shai Hulud

Yo Gabba Gabba!

Our house is obsessed with Yo Gabba Gabba. I remember the first episode that I seen. It had the Aquabats playing Pool Party. I was amazed that they were on a kids show. I loved them in high school. I was intrigued with them since Travis Barker used to be their drummer before being in Blink 182. Blink 182 is pretty much my all time favorite band (besides AFI) and has been since 1998. Ok back to YGG. I was amazed to find out that The Aquabats are co creators of this amazing kids show. I was also thinking that the character Muno look vaguely familiar. Then I realized that Muno looks like a creature from The Aquabats video Super Rad.

I think that it's really cool that my kids (even 10 month old Ryder) loves YGG. It's awesome that a band I loved made a TV show my kids like. An awesome tidbit of information is that Ryder was born while YGG was on. Seriously. Look.



Hunter took this picture while my dr. was getting ready. You can see the boombox on the TV screen. I guess Ryder was destined to like the show lol.

I could only wish my kids would skank while cleaning their room like this video.

Note the Aquabats doll at 40 seconds lol! Also it's the song is sung by Alex Desert from Hepcat. Most people know him in his role Jake (the blind man) from Becker.

Yo Gabba Gabba! - Pick It Up (GOGO13)


Anyways we are so excited that new episodes start airing April 3rd. The episode that airs that day is "New Friends" staring Jack Black. I've seen clips and pictures from that episode and it looks like it'll be a good one! Watch it!

Started as a sketch in my notebook

Yesterday. Hunter ended up just going to my parents. We decided to take Ryder with us. My mom had to go to my aunt's house to look through some things that belonged to my grandma. I knew my mom would be occupied doing that. We dropped Hunter off at my aunts. Then Billy, Ryder, and I went to the consignment sale. We got a great deal on some toys and vhs tapes. I got the boys a washer, dryer, ironing board combo. Hunter loves it. I pretty much finished up the boys Easter baskets. I just want to get them some swimming shorts. That way they'll be ready for the water park this summer.
My dad gave us a gift certificate to Olive Garden for Christmas. We finally got to use it. Usually the wait to eat is like an hour. It was only 5 minutes.

Right now we are waiting for Billy to get home from work. There was overtime available for him today doing b.s. around. I hope he's not too late. I need to go grocery shopping.

What I'm listening to: Bombtrack by Rage Against the Machine

All the birthday jazz.

Even though Ryder's birthday is a month and a half away, I'm about done shopping for him. Last night I was browsing Toys R Us and they had an awesome deal going on. $10 off your order of $75 or more if you pay with paypal. I decided to look at Yo Gabba Gabba stuff and they were on sale. I scored big time. I'm nervous though, because it says 'pending' next to the transaction on my paypal account. One time I ordered some things at Bloomingdales when they had 50% off their clearance. Because they didn't have 1 of my items in stock they canceled my entire order. By the time they canceled it they were sold out of the other things that I ordered.
I just got him a Dance Mat off ebay for $10. It's $24.99 at Target. There are only a few more things that I'm going to get him. Hopefully ebay will be where I can get most of them.

Toodee Drivin friends. (He has the other 4)
Thomas the Train riding toy
Dancing Brobee
Yo Gabba Gabba bedding set
Brobee chair...there is like 4 on ebay for like $40. I'm holding out and crossing my fingers that I'll find one in a store soon. Chairs like that with Dora and such on them cost $24.99.


After Ryder Hunter's bday is June 9th. He's not getting much because he's getting a Jeep power wheel. He said that he wants a big garbage truck that Toys R Us has. That may be it. Plus he wanted to camping for his bday. I am sooooo not a camper, but if he wants to go, we'll go. We'll invite whatever family members of ours that wants to go.

Burning like a candle at the end of its wick

I'm excited. Tomorrow is a busy shopping day. First Billy and I are going to drop the boys off at my parents. My mom said that she'd watch them while we go out. First there is a huge consignment kids sale I want to go to. There is suppose to be over 50,000 items. I can't wait. It only happens 2 times a year. I usually forget about things like this. Thankfully, I put it on the calender on my phone. We need to go to Toys R Us, because I found out that they have Yo Gabba Gabba bowls, cups, and silverware. It'll be a good birthday present or Easter basket item for Ryder. I'm not sure which one yet. Most likely Easter. Thanks to Tess I found out that they are having a Little People event there tomorrow. Free DVDs are being given out. I know we are going to the Juicy store after those two. Then we are going to Once Upon a Child to look at spring clothes for the boys.

Ok. It's dinner time for the boys. Hunter wants tomato soup and grilled cheese lol.

For the record: I love pandora radio. I like that I can listen to Rancid, AFI, and like music for free.

What I'm listening to: I Wanna Riot by Rancid

Happy St. Patricks Day

Ryder is wearing his green bumgenius

Don’t believe what you’ve been told

It's been a few days since I updated.
Saturday, I went with my mom to go to Macys. They ended up being closed already. They sold everything in the store before Sunday. Figures. I mean it was 90% off. We walked around Crestwood mall. It's kinda sad what it has become. It used to be the best mall around. Before West and South county got bigger. My mom counted like 55 stores out of business. I know never to waste my time going there again. We went to Target and Toys R Us after. I got the boys some Easter basket goodies. Well Mainly Ryder. He got a lot of Yo Gabba Gabba things for his basket. He's very interested in the show. I swear that he has said Muno a couple of times. Billy heard it too.
Sunday. We stayed home and kinda cleaned. We mainly listed unwanted things on ebay.
Yesterday was so nice. The boys and I went out side to play for awhile.

Billy decided that he wants to be a driver at his work now. He put a bid on a position yesterday. He'll get it. He has the most seniority out of most of the people there. Especially who wants it. So he now has to get his CDL. It's not horrible I guess. He already knows how to drive the trucks. Plus Pepsi pays for him to take the test. If they didn't it'd cost him $500.
We went to Walmart this morning to get a few things. I'm gonna have Hunter help me in a bit make green jello.
I'm super excited for this weekend. Juicy Couture is having a friends and family sale. 25% off almost everythings. We'll be going to Frontenac to go shopping at the Juicy store!
Ryder is waking up from his nap. Got to go.

What I'm listening to: Gotta Go by Agnostic Front

I hope that I will never let you down

Contract negotiations are over with for Billy. Everyone excepted the contract, thankfully. I was hoping that they wouldn't go on strike. They all get a bonus for signing today. They usually get IRAs every year (which is a measly 1.6K) now they are turning into 401k. Which is awesome. Billy already has a big chunk from when he worked in St. Louis, since they had that there. Because negotiations took so long Billy has to work tomorrow.

Eck. I really wanted to go to my friends bbq. Well I still may go by myself and the kids. I also want to go to Macys. One near me is closing down on Sunday. They liquidated everything to 90% off! I'm pretty sure my mom wants to go to. So I'll for sure go, if she wants to.

I can't wait for Monday. Billy should be returning to his regular shift. If, Shawn, gets out of the hosital by then. Oh, I assume his eyes were watery because he was crying. Mike gets back from vacation.

So, I opened up my playlist of music. Thanks to Billy, I have a ton of music like Journey. Oh joy.

EPP! Scratch the bbq. My friends brother's wife is in labor. The baby will be 8 weeks early. They lost a son not too long after I lost Camille. I hope that everything will be alright. The dr. said that the baby boy is 5lbs and everything should be fine if he comes early.

What I'm listening to: The Artist in the Ambulance by Thrice

Gorgeous eyes shine suicide

OMG!!!!!

Billy's job just got worse. Billy called me on his 2nd lunch break (yes, he worked that long so he gets two full half hour lunch breaks on top of numerous 15 minute breaks) He tells me that his boss took one of the guys, Shawn, to the hospital. Because he eyes were watery? I dunno. At that point, his boss and Shawn were in the waiting room at the hospital for 2 hours. So that makes Billy's night even longer. He'll pull like a 16 hour shift by the time he's done. Well Billy just texted me to tell me that Shawn ended up going to a mental hospital! Srsly!

What I'm listening to: Summer Shudder by AFI

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

While my diapers are in the washer, I wanted to vent a little. Eck here goes.

Billy's job drives me crazy. They "promoted" him 2 weeks ago. I say promoted as loosely as possible. His boss called him 3 weeks ago and said " Billy, I have to ask you a question about how something will effect your life." Billy asked him what it was. His boss said that he'd like for him to have a new position. His hours would change to11:30 am - 8pm. His hours were 4pm-12:30am (he barely got out at 12:30 because they can't leave unless their job is finished) So the hours weren't that great. Billy was tired of working his shift because he felt like he was working with kindergartners who fought almost their entire shift. Anyways, Billy accepts. Found out that for a few weeks he'd get a pay decrease. He'd loose his title of Assistant warehouse manager, so he couldn't get paid that amount anymore. Whatever. Billy is promised that when contracts are signed, his wage will go up. He couldn't have the pay increase at the time, because they just added the new position. Contracts are this Friday, so he doesn't know what kind of increase he'll get. So Billy is suppose to get off at 8pm every night. So far, he's only got off at that time a few times. They haven't permanently replaced him at his old position. They took a driver off of his route and made him the extra help in the warehouse. This guy doesn't know what he's doing. The rest of the guys are slow. Billy has to stay to help them get out at a decent time. Which is bullshit. The way his job sees it is that he's working overtime at a very good rate, so he shouldn't complain. Well he barely gets to see his kids during the week because of this. Most nights he gets off at 10:30. Well not tonight. He'll be working from 11:30-past midnight. Why? Because they are shorthanded. 1 driver and 1 warehouse guy is on vacation this week. The extra help the warehouse had, is picking up the driver on vacation's route. So the warehouse is short handed 2 people. Eck. I don't get it. He works for Pepsi. They are a BIG company. They can easily hire more people. They don't though. Instead, my husband, gets screwed every which way. Simply, because he is capable of doing every thing that has to do with Pepsi (at his location)
Going back to why I said it's hardly a promotion. One of the big managers (Tom) decided to pretty much make Billy his bitch. Billy is there to make Tom's day so much easier. That way he can sit on his butt in his office. Which really wouldn't be that bad if he was able to get off at the time he was promised. Billy doesn't want to complain yet until contracts are done. They could easily take the position away from him. It should have went up for bid. Some how it didn't. Tom wanted Billy for this position because he knew Billy would do everything without complaining. Tom by passed union rules somehow to get Billy to be his bitch.

I'm done now.


What I'm listening to: Folsom Prison Blues by Mike Ness (Johnny Cash cover)

The change lies there with in ourselves

Both of my kids are taking a nap {squeel!} This has happened like 5 times since Ryder has been born. I should be putting the dishes away or washing diapers. How can I not enjoy my free time by spending it online. Usually the online time I have is spent NAKing while Ryder tries to touch my keyboard the entire time.

I'm so mad at myself right now. I lost the harness straps to Ryder's highchair. I took them out when he first started using his highchair. They got in the way, when I didn't need to strap him in. Now I need them and can't find them. I've been looking online trying to find a replacement, but no luck. I was told to call Chicco, so I guess that's what I'm going to do. I like to put Ryder in his highchair and give him some snacks while I clean. Well I can't do that right now, because he tries to climb out.


What I'm listening to: Through the Eyes of a Dreamer by Walls of Jericho

We were lonely wheat quietly ground into grain

My grandma's estate sell went well I guess. There wasn't anything that I really wanted. It was mainly tools and farm equipment that used to belong to my grandpa. I got a breadmaker for $7.50. It doesn't appear that my grandma ever used it. I can't wait to start making bread! Billy got like 100 records for $1. I may start going to estate sales. It seemed kinda neat. I'm sure it'll be funner when you buy a box of miscellaneous items from a stranger rather than your grandparents.

Hunter was suppose to have his tooth pulled today. It didn't happen. I'm pretty peeved about that. He chipped his front tooth when he was 18 months old. He was running around after one of our dogs and he tripped and he face landed right into a leg of one of our chairs in the living room. A dentist told us there was nothing they could do until it turned grey. It did last year. We had it crowed. That fell off a few times. We decided to have it pulled. Hunter was suppose to have his tooth pulled today at 9am. He went a week and a half ago to have xrays of his tooth and he was prescribed amoxicillin just in case he had an infection. I was under the impression that he'd be fully knocked out, because they said that they were going to use nitrous oxide. I haven't had too many cavities or whatever, so I guess I'm not sure how the dentist works. So I guess it could be my fault. I just know when I got my wisdom teeth cut out they knocked me out with nitrous. So I assumed when his dentist said they'd use nitrous, he'd be knocked out.
Anyways. We get there. They have Hunter sit on Billy's lap. They give him nitrous. Then they tried giving him a shot. Hunter jerked his head and they said they weren't going to pull his tooth. That was it. No second chance trying to give him the shot. They didn't even warn Hunter or Billy what they were about to do. They just tried to sneak attack Hunter with a shot. Serious what is a kids initial reaction going to be? So they recommend us to a dentist that is an hour and a half away that will put him out. They never once told us that it may not work out and we'd have to go somewhere else. We'll have to make the drive for the initial visit and then go back for his surgery date. So it's quite aggervating. Hunter has been sleeping for the past 4 hours, because the nitrous did make him tired afterwards.

I have a love hate thing going on with living near a hospital. I hear sirens and helicopters daily...well maybe hourly. It gets rather annoying. At the same time I'm thankful that there is one near by, just in case.



What I'm listing to: Torches Together by MEWITHOUTYOU

Cuttin' up limes with a dull butter knife

It's been really nice out the last two days. Especially today. I think it was like 70? The boys and I went outside to play both days. Not so much yesterday, because it was windy. Today I found out that Ryder does not like grass. I put him down and he freaked out. He wouldn't get off my lap. He just clung to my neck. I ended up putting him in Hunter's cozy coupe. I think he enjoyed that.

I've been trying to get things ready for tomorrow. They are holding an estate auction for my grandma's things. She died last January and they are finally doing it. Thankfully, it's going to be nice tomorrow. We need to get there at 8am. Sadly, the kids and I wake up after that. See, we don't have a normal schedule. The boys go to bed around 11-midnight and we wake up at 10:30 am. If we didn't do it this way, the boys may not be able to see Billy at all during the week. He has odd hours of 11am-8pm (but can be longer if he is needed, which is pretty much everyday)

So those hours that Billy works sucks. I mean he usually works 12 hours a day or more. I'm pretty tired of it. It's frustrating when I need help at home and he can't be here. Eck.

What I'm listening to: Loco Grongos like a Party by The Reverend Horton Heat

The decay of a species cure this worlds will to die.

I'm grossed out and mad. At some point last night Ryder must have did #2 in his diaper. I'm a cloth diapering mama BTW. Billy obviously changed it. He put the dirty diaper in a laundry basket full of clean diapers. He didn't even flick the poo out into the toilet. He just threw the diaper in there. He knows that dirty diapers go into a wet bag, not a laundry basket. So now my diapers need to be washed again because most has poo on them. Eck.

For the record, I would like to state that I hate cilantro. I cooked with it for the first time ever last night in some cheese and bean quesadillas I made for dinner. I should have knew that it would be disgusting by the smell when I was chopping it up. I bit into my quesadilla and yuck.

What I'm listening to: Set the Stage by The Warriors.

Everything you do is a cold blade in my ribs

Since I created a new blog, I figure that I should tell a little about myself?

I'm 24 years old. I'm married {for nearly 5 years} My husband [Billy] and I have 3 kids together.

Hunter [3] He's my little guy, who is hyper but yet lazy. He has his times where he'll drive me up the wall with his non stop talking. At other times, he'll just sit and relax [or sleep]

Ryder [9 months] He is a mommy's boy all the way. He's a bright one. He's been crawling for over 3 months. He's cruising on the furniture for 2 months. He's on his way to walking.

Also there is Camille [who would be 2] She is our angel. When I was 20 weeks pregnant with her, we found out that she had a chromosome abnormality that was incompatible with life. She lived for 10 minutes after I had her on December 7, 2006.

We live in a town that I hate. I live in a town that I never imagined myself being. It's a town where I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I hardly go out. If I do venture around town, it's to a health food store and WM for the essentials. I hate WM but it's really the only option in this town.

I guess I'm closing this entry to an end. The little ones are getting restless and I need to go.

My titles in my blogs usually are to the lyrics of a song that I'm currently listening to.
Listening to:Blood has been Shed;Of Sand and Sulfur